Interview with my aunt, Andrea Kelson, teacher at PS96.
Welcome to “Take a Stand Against Bullying” Interview #2.
My name is Liliana Kelson, a student at PS 11 and I’m here with my Aunt Andrea who is a teacher at PS 96 in East Harlem, NYC.
Q: How long have you been teaching, Andrea?
A: Well, I’m entering my 20th year as a teacher.
Q: Wow, that’s a long time! I have a couple questions for you.
A: Sure, I’d love to answer your questions.
Q: Have you ever had an experience with bullying at your school?
A: Oh, yes, I’ve had many experiences related to bullying at my school.
Q: What are the most common types of bullying?
A: Well, most bullying takes place related to how someone looks. For example, let’s say someone is really, really skinny. Or if they wear clothes that other kids don’t perceive as being very fashionable, or if they are a very good student, that might make them a target for bullying. Also, I see a lot of bullying against kids that are very, very small, particularly boys.
Q: What’s the response by the teachers when they hear about or see bullying at the school?
A: That’s a very good question. Most of the teachers in my school will take the ‘bully’ aside and talk to him or her privately to see if that makes a difference in their behavior. If that doesn’t work, then we call the child’s mother or father to see if we can get help there. We also ask somebody in the school, a peer, to see if they can talk to the bully to make him or her understand that the behavior is wrong and get him/her to improve it. If those three approaches don’t change the behavior, then the teacher will call one of the administrators, either the assistant principal or the dean to help.
Q: So it gets more serious as time goes on and the behavior doesn’t get better.
A: Yes. I’d say that 80% of the time, the intervention by the teacher works to fix the behavior.
Q: What was the most recent bullying thing that went on?
A: Well, there was a terrible incident that happened recently. It didn’t involve my school, but involved a nearby school. There was a boy who was bullied at one school, then came to a school that’s a few blocks away from PS 96. He needed a safety transfer because kids were bullying him...and he went to the new school, but he continued to be bullied at the new school. Ultimately, he ended up killing himself because he was being bullied.
Q: And a safety transfer is when a kid is being hurt or bullied and the administration says it’s not safe for the kid to be at that school so he gets transferred to a new school, right?
A: That’s right.
Q: And the bullies followed him to the new school?
A: Yes, they followed him to the new school and threatened him, bullied him, called him names. Like we talked about before, he was very small and kind of bookish, so he was a target of bullying and he was really tortured, not physically but mentally, by the other kids. We have not had any situations that extreme at our school, but we have lots of instances of bullying. There was one time that in the boys’ bathroom, a 7th grade boy was made to fight on camera with another boy and one of the other students posted the video on youtube.
Q: That’s so bad!
A: Yes, now the principal found out about it and made the parents take down the video off of youtube, but only after about 100 kids had already seen it on youtube.
Q: So the parent took it down?
A: Yes.
Q: Do most of the parents of bullies at your school not exactly respond much to the bullying, maybe they don’t care that much?
A: I think the parents do care, and when they are informed about it they respond, but I think a lot of parents don’t know until it’s brought to their attention. Sometimes I think they are aware of bullying behavior but a lot of times they just don’t know how to deal with it themselves.
Q: Interesting.
A: I just want to add one thing, there are also other parents who say, “why are you being so punitive with my child? It’s part of growing up. Kids get teased, kids will be kids.” etc. Some parents might not understand that the behavior is crossing the line. There’s a big difference between teasing and bullying.
Q: Like they might say “boys will be boys, they bully!” right?
A: Exactly.
Q: I have one more question for you. Have you seen changes in the way bullying has been responded to over the twenty years you’ve been teaching?
A: You mean have I seen changes in the way that teachers and administrators deal with bullying?
Q: Yes. Is it different?
A: That’s a very good question. I’ll start by saying that a lot of schools have responded to the bullying issue by enacting programs within the school. For example, there are two programs in my school that I can recommend. One is called “Getting Along Together” and what that does is the teacher creates activities for the students who do a lot of pretending or role-playing to put themselves in the place of the bully and the person being bullied. We have one that we started last year called the 4 R’s. The last thing I want to say is that twenty years ago we didn’t have to worry about cyber-bullying because there was no internet and therefore no social media, or texting, etc. I’ve seen a big increase in the incidence of cyber-bullying in the past few years. Don’t you think that might be happening in your school?
Q: Yes, on social media sites, it’s easy to post things about kids that can be really hurtful.
A: Right, and what kids don’t always understand is that once you post something on the internet, it’s there forever.
Q: And it goes everywhere.
A: It goes everywhere, and you can’t say afterward “oh, I’m so sorry!” because it’s already out there.
Q; So overall, have you seen bullying increase or decrease over your time as a teacher?
A: Another good question...I don’t see an increase in the amount of bullying...
Q: But you see an increase in cyber-bullying?
A: I do. But I don’t see an increase in face to face bullying. If you think about it, it’s easier to bully someone online because you don’t have to see them face to face. I also think, a lot of schools are starting something called a “zero tolerance policy” for bullying. At PS 57 they have zero tolerance which means you don’t get three chances or warnings, you get in trouble on the first offense, called in to dean’s or principal’s office or a counselor, and it’s taken care of immediately. I think you told me PS 11 also has this, which goes along with the Kind and Gentle them, right?
Q: Yes. We have that at PS 11. You just get one chance.
Well, thank you so much for your time today, Andrea. This has been so interesting!
A: Sure. If you have any other questions, you know where to find me.
Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself. - Harvey Fierstein
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